Sex After Divorce: Secrets to Getting Your Groove Back

Written by: Keith G. Tolman
Published 05/08/2015
Updated: 05/08/2015

Beginning a new sexual relationship can be stressful, especially if you’re just getting back into the game after a divorce. In fact, it can be downright overwhelming. However, you’re not alone. Many other people are going through the same thing right now. Here are some tips that may help you realize that sex after divorce can be fun and exciting.

Improving your sexual confidence
After divorce, you may have low self-esteem. Marital problems can leave you feeling less attractive and even undesirable. However, it’s important to remember that your new love interest will see things differently. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. After the compliments start rolling in, you’ll realize that you’re still attractive. If you’re feeling really down on yourself, splurge on a new hairstyle, spa treatment, or date-night outfit. When you look good, you’ll feel good, and your confidence will improve.

Waiting until the moment is right
You don’t have to rush into a sexual relationship right away. Talk to your dates and let them know that you’re interested in taking things slowly. They will probably understand exactly where you’re coming from. In fact, some of your dates might be nervous about it too. If you wait until you’re both ready, everything will fall into place naturally. You won’t have to try so hard if you feel comfortable with the other person.

…Or have a wild fling
After divorce, some people would rather date around and try no-strings-attached sex. It can be liberating to have a few flings after a long-term relationship. You might discover new things about your sexual preferences. Connecting sexually can be fun and enjoyable. A light-hearted sexual relationship can help you get back into the swing of things and boost your self-confidence. Just be honest with your partner about your intentions up front.

Don’t forget about birth control
Maybe you haven’t needed birth control for a while. There are always new options on the market. You might find one that better suits you and your new partner. Birth control pills are the most popular choice, but there are plenty of other effective methods such as the birth control patch, IUDs, Depo-Provera, and condoms. It’s important to practice safe sex, even if you’re not worried about pregnancy. You still have to watch out for sexually transmitted diseases like HIV, herpes, and chlamydia. Always be prepared for sex. Never assume that your date will bring protection.

Explore sexual preferences
You’re probably wondering if sex has changed since the last time you were dating. Will you be expected to have wild, crazy sex? Overall, things haven’t changed much. But everyone has different sexual preferences. It’s important to explore these preferences and desires with your new partner. Talking about sex can seem awkward or embarrassing at first, but it also opens up exciting new possibilities. You may even discover some new turn-ons. Take the opportunity to expand your sexual horizons and don’t be afraid to try new things.